Poet in Slightly Insulting Poem Shock! (Robert Crampton Unlikely to Sue...)

Now the weather has finally turned more seasonal, I've decided to hark back to last year's long, long summer by repeating a mildly insulting poem I sent to Robert Crampton of The Times last September. Controversial or what?

Dear Robert, Cap'n Bob or whatever,

Trapped in the cathedral garden by a procession of churchmen whose long costumes suggested a propensity for embarassment over their ankles, let alone knees, I did feel somewhat underdressed on Saturday. Still, I brazened it out and the new Dean presumably didn't recognise me fully dressed at the reception on Sunday.

Or he was too polite to mention it.

Still, I'm with you Bob:

A gentle breeze around the knees
must surely guard against disease?
though colder winds the autumn sends
may chill a person's odds and ends,
there's something in the playful way
you wear your short pants every day -
so resolute, determined to
avoid the longer trousers, you
rebellious free spirit! But
I wonder if it's more than that -
analogous, perhaps in truth,
to clinging to your fading youth?

But on this Bob, I'm there with you -
I wear mine 'til October, too.

Roy